


I Can't Be Like Him

by praypals



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/praypals/pseuds/praypals
Summary: It's been a year since Jeremy joined the crew after Ray left, but Ryan still seems to dislike him for it.
Relationships: Gavin Free/Michael Jones, Jack Pattillo/Geoff Ramsey, Jeremy Dooley/Ryan Haywood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	I Can't Be Like Him

“Ryan! Ryan, wake up!”

Ryan groaned as someone yelled his name repeatedly, then swatted tiredly at their hands as they tried to shake him awake. He felt his blanket be yanked off of him and his eyes blinked open slowly to see four out of the five other members of his crew standing over him. Geoff, the leader, was tapping his foot impatiently.

“It’s almost noon, asshole, you should be awake by now. We have shit to do,” he said in an annoyed voice.

“Why the fuck are you all here?” Ryan groaned, trying to grab at his blanket to pull it back over it shoulders.

“Really, Ry? You should know what today is,” another one of his crew members scolded, pulling the blanket further away.

“Probably something I don’t care about,” Ryan muttered in response, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Gavin is right for once, you should know what’s going on,” Geoff snapped.

Ryan sighed and threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

“Well I don’t, so what is it?”

“It’s the one year anniversary of Jeremy joining the crew!” the only female crew member, Jack, answered.

Ryan scrunched his noise in annoyance as he finally managed to snatch his blanket back.

“It’s not like we throw parties for dumb shit like that, so that still doesn’t answer my question about why you’re all in my fucking room.”

The last person in the room, Michael, finally spoke up.

“It’s just a reason for us to all get drunk and to see what Jeremy is like drunk. Can you believe he’s been here a year and still drinks alone? It’s just sad.”

“Great, I love getting drunk,” Ryan muttered sarcastically, “especially when it’s in celebration of the only other person who wouldn’t have gotten drunk being replaced. Hooray. I can’t fucking wait. This day is going to be ah-may-zing.”

Geoff groaned and hit him upside the head.

“You’re really still upset about him taking over Ray’s spot? Get over it, man, I know you miss Ray, we all do, but Jeremy is part of our crew now and Ray isn’t coming back.”

Geoff turned and walked out of the room dramatically, causing Jack to roll her eyes.

“Just come out of your room by 12:30,” she said.

She walked out after Geoff, followed closely by Michael and Gavin. Once they had gone, Ryan let out a loud groan as he summoned enough strength to roll out of his bed. Once he was on his feet, he rummaged through his dresser and threw on a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, then headed out to talk to the others.

Unsurprisingly, Jeremy was also out there, chatting with everyone happily. He was the first to notice Ryan, who was looking at him with an expression that was void of any emotion. Ryan watched Jeremy stiffen and fall silent, clearly trying but failing to maintain his happy demeanor. The other crew members quickly noticed and Geoff beckoned Ryan over, giving him a stern look warning him to not say anything stupid.

“So, as you all know” Geoff began to speak, “today marks a year since our dear Rimmy Tim joined the Fake AH Crew. Basically, our plan for the day is to relax with some video games, drink some alcohol, and go out to drink some more at night. No illegal stunts for today. Any questions?”

Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but Geoff noticed and quickly added,

“From anyone but Ryan?”

Ryan rolled his eyes and turned to walk toward the kitchen to grab a diet coke and some leftover pizza from the night before. He felt Jeremy’s eyes following him and could tell that his crewmate wanted to talk to him but he ignored it. It was nothing out of the ordinary, Jeremy seemed to always want to talk to him. Ryan always ignored him, though, because even though Jeremy had been nothing but trustworthy for the past year, Ryan still got a weird feeling in his stomach anytime he was around.

“What time are we going out to drink?” Ryan heard Michael speak up.

“Whenever we feel like it,” was the response that came from Geoff.

As Ryan walked back out with his food and drink, Michael spoke again, saying,

“Okay, so can we play Mario Party 8 first?”

“First of all, you only want to play because you always fucking win. Second of all, there’s six of us and only four people can play that at once,” Jack argued.

“I’ll sit out,” Ryan offered. “Nintendo games always fuck me over anyway.”

“I’ll sit out too,” Jeremy automatically added, earning a strange look from Ryan.

Geoff shook his head.

“No way, we’re not gonna make you sit out of a game when we’re celebrating your one year anniversary of being here.”

“Aw, come on, I really wanna play,” Michael begged.

“Yeah, come on guys,” Gavin echoed, “Mario Party is fun even if you’re just watching.”

“Ugghh, fine. I’ll sit out instead of Jeremy, though,” Geoff gave in, rolling his eyes.

Michael and Gavin high-fived each other and quickly settled down onto a couch next to each other with controllers in their hands. Geoff turned on the console and tossed Jack a controller, then those two sat down in the remaining spots on the couch. Ryan relaxed onto the two-seater sofa that was perpendicular to the couch, then groaned inwardly as he realized the only place left for Jeremy to sit was right next to him, which, of course, Jeremy did so.

The moment Jeremy sat down, Ryan felt that weird feeling in his stomach again. Jeremy’s knee was almost touching his, and he hated it. He gritted his teeth as he automatically felt the eyes of his other crew members on him. They all seemed slightly nervous and tense, almost as if they were expecting him to lash out, but he took a deep breath to stay calm as he actively avoided their gazes. He could feel the tension and stiffness in Jeremy’s body, so he instead focused on that, trying to make himself feel better with the knowledge that he could easily kill Jeremy if he wanted, and Jeremy clearly knew that.

They decided to do a 25 turn game, which ended up lasting just over two hours. About 30 minutes in, Jeremy started to relax next to Ryan and even made a few jokes to him, but Ryan hardly acknowledged it. The two hours were practically excruciating for Ryan (especially during the ‘Shake It Up’ minigame, where he very carefully avoided looking at Jeremy), and he was extremely thankful when it ended because that meant he would have a reason to sit somewhere else.

Unfortunately for Ryan, they decided to play some Jackbox games afterward to ‘get to know each other better’, even though they already knew each other extremely well (except for Jeremy, who they still had quite a bit to learn about), which meant that no one moved seats. At some point after Ryan finally relaxed a bit he vaguely noticed that Jeremy’s leg had somehow ended up lightly pressed against his without him realizing at first, and the uncomfortable sensation in his stomach returned once again, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it because he didn’t feel like making everything tense again and annoying Geoff any more than he already had so far.

The rest of the day continued similarly. When they moved on to play some card games for a while, Jeremy was standing next to Ryan, and they also happened to sit next to each other while eating dinner. Even in the car ride to the bar Jeremy ended up seated shotgun next to Ryan, who was driving. Already slightly tipsy from the alcohol he had consumed back at the penthouse, Jeremy belted out the lyrics to the songs on the radio for the entire ride, much to Ryan’s annoyance. Only when they arrived at the bar did Ryan finally manage to slip away to sit by himself in an empty booth, feeling exhausted as he willed the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach to go away.

He spent a while just continuing to sit alone, thankful that all the other crew members were getting drunk enough to not notice that he wasn’t with them. It was always somewhat amusing to see them get drunk and act stupid anyway, so he didn’t actually mind at all. It was almost just another way to get to know them all better; to see how they act when he’s not around. As the night progressed, he watched as Michael got annoyed while Gavin flirted with an attractive woman, who then noticed Ryan watching and gave him a flirty wink (which was surprising but also somewhat funny), and he watched as Jack drunkenly gave Geoff a kiss on the cheek (which would normally never happen in front of anyone else). He watched and couldn’t help but laugh as Jeremy tried to stand on the bar but immediately slipped and was caught by Michael, who quickly sat him down in a chair so that he wouldn’t try again and get hurt.

At one point Ryan watched as a woman approached Jeremy and obviously started to flirt with him. Much to Ryan’s surprise, Jeremy immediately looked uncomfortable. Ryan could see his eyes glancing around nervously as he looked for the others, none of whom were paying attention. As much as Ryan disliked Jeremy, he knew that he had to help him because it was clear nobody else would. He quickly stood up and walked over to Jeremy, catching his eye as he approached and almost feeling guilty as he noticed Jeremy’s body tense up even more than it already was.

“Hey,” Ryan said, coldly staring the woman down as he gently placed a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, “what do you think you’re doing?”

The woman narrowed her eyes and put her own hand on Jeremy’s thigh.

“None of your business,” she spat in response.

Jeremy gave Ryan a panicked look, and for once Ryan acknowledged him without hesitation. Ryan shoved the woman’s hand off of Jeremy and pulled him to his feet, gripping his arm gently but protectively. He spun Jeremy around to face him, ignoring the woman’s protests, and gave him a quick once-over.

“Are you alright?” he asked, voice gripped with concern that he didn’t know he could ever have for Jeremy.

Jeremy nodded and smiled.

“I am now, thanks to you.”

Ryan scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he could feel a smile tugging at his lips.

“I didn’t even do anything, you bitch!” the woman shouted, causing several other people to turn and look in their direction.

“Let’s go,” Ryan said to Jeremy, giving the woman a dangerous glare as he gently pulled Jeremy away to where he had been sitting alone before, then repeated, “are you sure you’re okay?”

Jeremy hesitated and tried to glance back at the woman who was now glaring at them angrily, but Ryan grabbed his chin and guided his gaze back toward himself. Their eyes locked and Ryan frowned as he saw the anxious expression that Jeremy had.

“I wanna go home,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan nodded.

“I’ll take you home, then. Stay here for just a moment, okay? I’ll be right back.”

After letting the bartender know not to worry because he would be back for his other drunk friends soon, Ryan led Jeremy out to the car, securing him safely into the passenger seat then hopping in front of the wheel and driving back toward the penthouse. Once they arrived, Ryan immediately led Jeremy to the bathroom, where the drunk man promptly began throwing up into the toilet. While Jeremy was throwing up, Ryan’s phone began to ring so he stepped out to take the call, rolling his eyes as he saw it was Gavin.

“Ryyyy can you pick us-” he paused here to hiccup, “-up? Did you leave? Come back, Ry!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” he sighed, slightly annoyed at the timing, then poked his head back into the bathroom and said, “hey, Jeremy, I’ll be back soon but I have to go pick up the others. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

Jeremy mumbled an incoherent reply as Ryan walked back out to go to his car again. 

The drive to the bar was quiet and peaceful, but the drive back was hell. Gavin was basically squawking like a bird the whole time, Michael was yelling nonstop, and Jack had her hands all over Geoff, who was just laughing. Ryan couldn’t have been more relieved when they got back and the crew members all loudly split off to their respective rooms.

Upon returning, Ryan immediately went to check on Jeremy, who was still in the bathroom, slumped miserably over the toilet. After several glasses of water, once he was certain enough that Jeremy wasn’t going to puke again he cleaned off his face and took him to his room, where he helped him change into a pair of soft sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Once he had gotten the Jeremy settled in his bed, he turned to leave but was stopped by Jeremy’s hand grabbing his.

“Wait,” Jeremy said, pulling him back.

Ryan sighed and sat down on the end of Jeremy’s bed with his arms crossed. He had already done enough for the guy tonight, and he was more than ready to finally go to his own room and collapse into his own bed.

“What is it?” He grunted.

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Uh, for what?” Ryan replied, blinking in surprise.

Jeremy sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest.

“I’m sorry I replaced Ray, and I’m sorry I can’t be like him. I know I’ll never be anything even close to what he was. I’m really trying though, Ryan, and I really wish you would see that. But I understand why you hate me and I’m sorry that I can’t be better.”

Ryan stared at Jeremy, speechless, his stomach twisting uncomfortably again. This time, it was Jeremy avoiding looking at him. When Ryan finally spoke again, all he could think to say was,

“You should get some rest.”

He stood to leave but was once again stopped by Jeremy’s hand.

“Please stay,” Jeremy whispered softly.

Ryan hesitated for several long moments but eventually sighed and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders. He laid down on the floor, situating his jacket under his head as a makeshift pillow, then looked up at Jeremy, who was peering over the side of the bed at him.

“Is this alright?” Ryan muttered stiffly as he silently regretted his life choices, then relaxed slightly as he saw that Jeremy was smiling gently.

“Thank you,” Jeremy said quietly. “You’re such a good person. If I hated someone as much as you hate me then I would’ve never helped them like this.”

Ryan frowned, unsure of how to reply to that. By the time he finally thought of a somewhat suitable response, he realized Jeremy was gently snoring. Figuring it wasn’t worth possibly waking and upsetting Jeremy, Ryan just readjusted his rather uncomfortable makeshift pillow and closed his eyes, hoping it wouldn’t be too hard to fall asleep.

When Ryan woke the next morning, he groaned as he felt his body aching from the hard floor underneath him. As he sat up, he realized he had somehow acquired a blanket, and an actual pillow had been underneath his head in place of his jacket, which was folded neatly next to him. He got to his feet, stretching his aching joints, then walked out to the kitchen. Jeremy was already there, humming quietly to himself as he made himself some eggs. His hair was wet as if he had just taken a shower, and he looked surprisingly refreshed considering how drunk he had been the night before. Ryan approached him quietly, then cleared his throat to announce his presence, causing the other man to jump.

“How are you feeling?” Ryan asked as Jeremy turned to look at him.

“Not too bad, actually. How about you? Sorry I made you sleep on the floor, I don’t remember exactly what happened but I assume it was my fault,” Jeremy answered, sounding guilty.

Ryan shrugged.

“It was my decision. I could’ve said no. What was up with the blanket and the pillow?”

“Huh?” Jeremy cleared his throat. “Oh, uh, when I woke up you looked kinda uncomfortable, and I figured since you took care of me last night I might as well, y’know, return the favor a little bit.”

He turned away, his face flushing bright red. Ryan felt his stomach twist once again, and before he knew it he had grabbed the collar of Jeremy’s shirt and pushed him against the counter to the side of the stove. Jeremy’s eyes widened as he blindly grabbed the edge of the counter to steady himself.

“Ryan, wh-”

Ryan’s lips suddenly crashed against his, forceful and desperate. Jeremy moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Ryan to pull him closer, pressing their bodies together. After a moment, Ryan pulled away, locking eyes with Jeremy.

“I don’t fucking care that you can’t be like Ray. Ray is gone and he’s not coming back, and I’ve accepted that. I don’t want you to be like him. Ray was an amazing crewmate and an even better friend, but he didn’t make my stomach flutter every time I was near him. Before you joined, it had been such a long time since I last had such strong feelings toward someone that when my emotions got like that I thought it was because I hated you, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I should’ve realized way sooner how much I like you and why I felt so weird and kinda nervous around you all the time.”

Before Jeremy could respond to that, Ryan went to pull him into another kiss, but Jeremy suddenly moved his head back. Ryan frowned nervously as Jeremy gave him an apologetic look.

“That’s really sweet and I really want to kiss you again, but my eggs are burning,” Jeremy grunted, trying to wriggle away to save his breakfast.

Ryan laughed and kissed him again anyway, then turned the stove off and pushed the pan off the heat. Jeremy grinned and wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck.

“I’ve never seen you smile like this before,” he said happily.

“Yeah, well don’t get too used to it. That smile is saved for special occasions,” Ryan replied with an eyeroll.

“That’s lame. Also, you ruined my eggs, so you have to make more for me now,” Jeremy retorted playfully.

Ryan let go of Jeremy to glance at the eggs as Geoff walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, Ryan, are you making eggs? Jack and I were both about to get some breakfast and Michael and Gavin will probably be up soon too.”

Ryan turned to glare at Jeremy with no actual malice behind his eyes.

“You’ve doomed me. I’m going to be stuck in here making eggs all morning now.”

“At least you’ll have me by your side the whole time,” Jeremy replied with a cheeky grin and a wink.

Geoff glanced between them in confusion, then shook his head and muttered, “I need aspirin,” before walking back out. Ryan and Jeremy shared a smile.

“You know what, I’m definitely glad you’re not Ray,” Ryan said. “If you were Ray, then I never would’ve met Jeremy. And I really like you, Jeremy, so I’m glad you’re here. Never apologize for being yourself.”


End file.
